Three easy steps to work out what to do next in life

The alarm goes off. You slowly open your eyes.

Another day.

Feel familiar?

Sometimes it can be hard to know why you get out of bed in the morning. You don’t get out of bed just for a job.

Well, you do – but that’s not why you do it.

Like most of us, you probably get out of bed in the morning to go to work, so you can do the job that earns you the money that helps you survive.

That’s a purpose in itself – but what’s behind that?

If you’re reading this, then you’ve probably arrived at a point in your life in which you’ve become – or are becoming – more aware of that question of what sits beneath the daily grind and routines. What do you actually want in life?

How we arrive at this point can look different to everyone.

It might be that you’re coming towards the end of a big project. You might be considering a career change. Or it might be that a once-in-a-lifetime worldwide pandemic has pulled the rug out from under you, and normal life as you know it has gone out the window.

For many, that was the most obvious catalyst for searching for purpose over the past 18 months.

Let’s be honest: most people don’t want to be known just for what they do for a job, yet it’s incredibly easy (and often subconscious) for our sense of identity to become attached to our career. So, when we lose that job, we lose a sense of ourselves, and we can be left asking who we are, where we’re going, and how we got to where we are.

Finding yourself in that boat can be daunting, and it’s hard to know how to take a step forward, let alone what that next step looks like?

Here’s the thing though: you don’t have to be in crisis to feel this way. For many of us, it just happens.

Finding that motivation again can be tricky, but it’s not impossible.

It’s all about identifying what you want to change in your life, and then working backwards to plan how to achieve change.

So, if you ever find yourself in a situation like that (and most of us do), here’s three simple steps – which are a simplified version of one of the tools in your Story of My Life Journal – to help you reclaim and rewrite your story.

Step 1. Describe what you want your life to look like

In your Story of My Life Journal, we take a deep-dive into how you can plan to change your life.

We use the eight dimensions of wellness employed extensively in psychiatry and psychology (you can find out more in the “Dimensions of Wellness” section, under Planning on the ‘How it works‘ page, or check out this resource from Boston University) to provide helpful guiderails for your planning.

Laying down guiderails takes the infinite and distils it into the finite – it gives you somewhere to start.

• Physical: your healthy habits, sleep schedule, fitness goals, or your relationship with food
• Intellectual: looking inwards at your creative abilities, or looking at ways to build your skills and knowledge
• Emotional: how you cope with life, how you create and manage your relationships
• Social: developing connections, belonging, and your support system
• Spiritual: expanding your sense of purpose and meaning in life (whether you’re religious or not)
• Vocational: your work life
• Financial: your current and future financial situations
• Environmental: your impact on the environment, and how it, in turn, impacts you

So, when trying to work out where to go next, the first step is painting a picture of what your end goal looks like. Describe to yourself in detail what a fulfilling life looks like in each of these areas. Who do you want to be? How do you want to think and feel? How do you want to act?

Now, listen up: this is one of those exercises where we need to employ the old cliche, ‘you’ll only get out what you put in’, because you need to be honest with yourself when doing this.

No one needs to see your goals, so don’t worry about being embarrassed, or feeling you’re not putting the ‘right’ goals down, but if you’re not honest, then you can’t expect to make progress.

Your goals need to be realistic; they need to be ones that YOU (not anyone else, or what you think you SHOULD) want to achieve, and they need to be specific.

So, for example, ‘getting fit’ is so broad a goal that it’s effectively meaningless. But if you’re looking to achieve a specific weight or run a particular distance – that’s achievable. Because being specific makes it possible to work out how to get there.

Just remember: this is your life – make them your goals.

Step 2. What does your life look like right now?

This next step anchors your future goals to your current situation. What does your life look like right now in each of these eight dimensions?

Now, this might hurt a bit, as you scratch the surface, open the wound, and determine which areas of your life need to change.

Think of this entire process like using a map to get somewhere. To use a map, you need to know three things: where you are, where you want to go, and how you’ll get there.

This is the step that helps you understand the distance between where you are, and where you want to be. It’s the step that helps you understand what you need to do – and need to stop doing – to bridge the gap between the two.

This process puts the power of your narrative in your hands.

You can remarkably change how your life looks, subtly shift it in one direction, and all stops in between.

The point is: the choice is yours.

Step 3. How are you going to get there?

Now that you’ve identified what you want your life to look like, and where you are in comparison, you need a way to bridge that gap.

What steps are you prepared to take to get from where you are, to where you want to be?

The way to do this is to write them down in a clear, logical manner.

And, again, be realistic. Make them steps you can actually achieve.

Oh, and a tip: these can be as big or small as you want.

This is an incredibly personal process. The marathon runner might set a Physical goal of shaving 10min off their time. However, the person suffering debilitating depression might set a goal of getting out of bed at a set time every day.

Both goals ask an enormous amount of their owner, and both are equally important.

So, whether it’s completing the Couch to 5K challenge, saving an extra $10 every pay, or having a coffee with a friend every fortnight, make it specific and make it yours.

Even the smallest of steps can, over time, take you to the top the tallest mountain.

Three steps. That’s all.

If you’re trying to work out what to do next in life, employing these three steps will help you on your way.

In fact, they’re among the core tenets of your Story of My Life Journal, and it all starts by working out what you want to change.

You’re the only one who can define what you want the story of your life to be. Somewhere within you, at your core, lies what your meaning – that which your drawn to, which you want to pursue, which you find meaningful.

And, with that meaning, comes purpose. The reason you get out of bed.

And we don’t just mean the ringing of that damned alarm clock.